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The Dangerous Duo

by Christy Twichell
(Simi Valley, Ca, USA)




Jeepers Sneakers!
Here comes Dover
Riding on his four-wheeled motor.
And his grand dog Belvadere
Wearing Dover’s football gear.

Where they go? You might ask.
Out to town to buy a mask
"To wear at midnight," they would say
"To scare the gophers all away."

Does it work? No one knows.
For no one’s seen where gophers go.
But every night you’ll see a bat
Right where Dover and Belvadere sat.

One thing that we know for sure
Is where to find them in a rush
When you need your gophers crushed.
Ask them and they will say,
"We'll make your gophers go away!"





Photo by Mojoey

Comments for
The Dangerous Duo

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

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Aug 21, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Now for an Intelligent Comment
by: A Naughty Moose

Christy,
I absolutely loved it! Was fun to read aloud to our kids. Silly, cute and full of surprise words as a child's story should be. The bats and gophers need to be there to balance out the masks at midnight. You have a great imagination. Write more please!

Aug 21, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Bla bla bla
by: Dadnyfur

Christy, You go girl! However, did they really need to use a bat on the gophers? After all, they went out of town to buy a scary mask. That is supposed to scare all of the the poor little woogie poogie gophers away, right?

They could use the bat, to fight off all of the thugs that would be hanging out late at night, wanting to steal their four-wheeled motor out from under them, well, if they were like, say, in Detroit or Chicago...

Aug 20, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Very Cute!
by: Afton

Christy,
I really liked your story poem! I thought the characters were unique and interesting. I think this is a story that kids will enjoy reading aloud. It does have a little dark side to it, but this is very common in children's literature, like the Grimm's Fairy Tales. Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother getting eaten by a wolf is pretty violent and harsh if you think about it...but it is a treasured favorite by readers and writers of all ages. I would love to read other short stories you have written!
Afton

Aug 20, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Very Cute!
by: Afton

Christy,
I really liked your story poem! I thought the characters were unique and interesting. I think this is a story that kids will enjoy reading aloud. It does have a little dark side to it, but this is very common in children's literature, like the Grimm's Fairy Tales. Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother getting eaten by a wolf is pretty violent and harsh if you think about it...but it is a treasured favorite by readers and writers of all ages. I would love to read other short stories you have written!
Afton

Aug 20, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Fun to Read
by: Phil

Christy,
You can really imagine and picture the characters and what is going on. I like how it flows. It is amazing how much is portrayed in such a short story. I really liked it.
Phil

Aug 19, 2010
Rating
starstarstar
Visually, full of action.
by: Don Nelson

Hi Christy,

I read your short story several times. It flowed well, rhymed well and was full of action. It is also very visual.

The only thing that bothered me were these two things.

. . . every night you’ll see a bat
. . . When you need your gophers crushed.

The first time I read it, the impact of this violence was not so bad, but when I read it for a second time, the image of a bat being used to crush a gopher was a bit harsh.
Not sure if this is an image you want to create in a small child's mind.

don

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