The Amazing Little Brother

by Anthony Hernandez
(Van Nuys California)

This family is like other families. Every day we go to school and when we get home we do homework. Then we do chores and eat after, then our day is done.

But one day an amazing thing happened. We heard that my sister had a baby. We all just burst into tears. I always wanted to have a little brother. I was so excited. I couldn't wait for him to come.

After nine months the baby was ready to come out. I waited in the hallway with a smile on my face and a dozen roses in one hand and blue balloons in the other hand. When the doctor called us in to see the baby I ran inside.

When I laid eyes on him I knew we were going to be best friends forever.


Comments for The Amazing Little Brother

Average Rating starstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 08, 2010
Good perspective
by: J.L.Conlon

I agree with the comment above. The perspective is almost perfect, but it might be a better story if we found out who the speaker is, and like the first comment said, round out more of the emotions. It's pretty exciting to have a new baby in the family, and I know this voice could really bring that home!

Aug 30, 2010
Swet, sweet story
by: Anonymous

Very sweet. I think you should expand this and add some emotions and sensory details. (Smells, touch, sounds.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Short Story Writing Contest.